Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
