You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
