you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
