come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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