let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
