I must be too annoying 4 u.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
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