I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
