Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize