I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize