I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
