I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Randomize