the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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