He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
