At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
