Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
