did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
