well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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