My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
