I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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