I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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