u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
