I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
