Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
