i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
