; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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