I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize