He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
