you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
