why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
how do you play pong handcuffed?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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