i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize