She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
