R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize