I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
