Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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