you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
