I wanna passion pit in your ass
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
