I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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