so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
