The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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