And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
