I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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