My room smells like vodka and shame
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
