i don't like sucking hair
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
