I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
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