gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize