Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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