Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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