are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
