dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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