so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
