I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
my being single is dangerous.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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