Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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