Whatcha textin bout Willis?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
