Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
50% drunk capacity currently
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
