You really coming over, don't trick.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
