Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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